


Don’t Do This ➢ B. Barnes & S. Rogers

by kindredmoon



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Steve Rogers - Fandom
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 08:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22492726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kindredmoon/pseuds/kindredmoon
Summary: Bucky thought that this wasn’t the end of the line, but Steve always knew that it was.*slight endgame spoilers*
Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes & Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes / Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 10





	Don’t Do This ➢ B. Barnes & S. Rogers

If there was one thing that Bucky Barnes thought that he'd always have. One thing he thought he could always count on, it would be Steve Rogers. Once short, sickness prone Steve Rogers, turned soldier, turned Captain. Steve Rogers from Brooklyn, his friend who he followed to hell and back and through everything that followed. His pal, the one who was meant to be there until the end of the line. And as Bucky released his grip on his friends' shoulders, his hands slipping from their last embrace, he wished that the end of the line wouldn't have come so soon. But it was here, looming and shuttering and entirely too close for comfort, and Bucky knew he was teetering on the edge. He was caught hoping things would have turned out differently, hoping Steve would stay. But he knew Steve, he knew this Steve like the back of his hand. He knew this Steve would always choose Peggy, but still he found himself hoping he was wrong.

This wasn't meant to be their end of the line. 

All Bucky knew was that it wasn't meant to be like this. It was never meant to end like this. He didn't want to end up alone again. He's been alone for so long now. When he jumped through every Hydra shaped hoop and stumbled over every hurdle of that aftermath, he did it alone. Through every burnt safehouse, every darkened back alley he walked, every god damn plum he ate, he did it in solidarity. He was tired of being alone. 

Bucky fought all his battles, he had done his time, served his country and had laid his burdens to rest. He thought it was finally over. That the dust had settled on the battlefield for what he hoped would be the last time. Only this time, he had Steve. Steve who, quite literally, crashed through all his walls and helped him remember who he was, helped him remember how to love and how to be loved.

He finally had Steve again and he was about to lose him.

"Come back to me, Steve." The words were rushed and strained and mumbled under his breath, but he knew Steve had heard him. He wasn't prepared to lose what he had fought so hard to get back. It wasn't fair, life wasn't fair, but he knew that, more than anyone else.

A tear dropped down his cheek as he watched, helpless and distraught, as his friend stepped onto the metal platform. Finding Steve's eyes, he stood by as his oldest and only friend nodded goodbye with a shake of his head and a quirked lip. With a flash of light and a bang of static, Steve Rogers was gone and something inside of Bucky knew he wasn't coming back. 

"Don't do this to me, punk." He pleaded, his eyes not leaving the empty platform.

"Okay coming back in, three..."

Bucky's lip quivered slightly, his hand trembling. "Don't do this."

"Two..."

A sob caught in his throat, his hand clenched hard, his fingers leaving crescent moon shapes on his non-metal palm. "Please, don't leave me."

"...One."

When nothing happened and the platform was left empty, barren and bare and silence crept into his heart before chaos let loose, Bucky felt his stomach drop. Tears openly ran down his face as he ducked his head to his chest. His eyes squeezed shut tightly. The saltiness of his tears tasting brackish in his mouth as his tongue ran over his cracked lips. He wished that being right didn't leave such a sour taste in his mouth and such a heavy feeling in his chest.

Steve wasn't there, and he wasn't coming back, and Bucky was alone all over again. After everything; every battle; every war they waged together; after he had finally found himself again; after he finally realized how much he cared about Steve; everything; it was all gone. Steve was gone. And Bucky couldn't help but feel second best, yet again.

He nodded quietly to himself, because after all he knew this would happen, he knew Steve would always choose Peggy, always. He resigned himself to that fact years ago, but still, maybe one part of him hoped Steve would stay, hoped Steve would have just been happy with him, hoped that it was enough, that he was enough.

Bucky reached into the depths of his pockets, his hand finding the ripped edges of a photo. Pulling it free, he carefully unfolded the wilting paper with a gentle tug of his human fingers. He was greeted with the smiling faces of himself and Steve, their bodies close, arms around each other in a friendly embrace, relaxed and comfortable and happy. God, he looked so happy.

"Pretend that you're friends."

Steve smiled his head tilting backwards as he bellowed with laughter. He pulled Bucky closer to his side with a reassuring hand around his shoulders. Bucky grinned widely and shook his head, turning to face Steve with rosy cheeks and dilated pupils. "We are friends."

Tears soon soaked the paper, the colours began to run. He tucked the crumpled paper back into his pockets. Bucky glanced up, slow and unsure, his eyes lingered on the metal stage where his friend once stood before they darted to the nearby lakefront, desperately trying to avoid his teammates questioning gazes. With a heavy heart he watched as the water gently caressed the shoreline, the continuous sound of the lapping waves soon drowned out the chatter of his teammates.

The gleam of metal caught his eye and when he cast his gaze to the slumped figure crowded on a nearby bench, sitting next to what he could only imagine was the glimmering metal sphere of a shield, his heart stopped. 

"Steve?" His cracked lips let the name slip from their grasp. The pain in his chest built. Bucky figured it was what heartbreak felt like. Like a red hot coal placed in his chest, that glowed and burned him at the same time. It throbbed and tortured him until it rang him out, until he was dry inside, left with no more tears to cry. He felt raw; lost; like he was falling off that train all over again.

The few feet distance between them felt so far and so near at the same time, and Bucky didn't know whether he should run to Steve and tell him the truth - of his feelings, of his love for his pal, if he should hug him and cry to him and try to pick up where they left off, like they always did - or if be should run from the man and the heart break that would surely follow, because it always seemed to follow.

Every memory - every ounce of laughter; every fight; every battle that they fought side by side, unstoppable and inseparable; all the times they risked their lives for each other, because if they were going to walk out of the battle it would be together or it wouldn't be at all; Steve's ever boyish, barking laugh; every single one of Bucky's smiles - flashed before his eyes, all at once, all too much and all too fast, before it winked out like a candle that had burned itself out.

"Bucky." Steve said simply and he stood and turned to face the brunette, a lopsided grin on his aged face, his shield now held firmly within his wrinkled hand, his compass in the other. His smile only faulted when he saw the tears that streamed down Bucky's face. 

Bucky looked at Steve, old Steve but not old like before, Steve who was now withered with age and time and wisdom. Steve, who wasn't his Steve anymore. He'll miss his Steve. He'll miss his Steve like he misses the 40's. The same way he misses his mother. The same way one misses an old friend, because that's just what Steve was now. An old friend that he once knew, once cared about with every fiber of his being. God, he'll miss his Steve. 

"Was she worth it?" The question was out before he could stop himself. His eyes pleaded with Steve to tell him. To say that it was a mistake; that he shouldn't have left; that he should have stayed; that he missed him; that he was enough; that if he could, he would go back and tell his younger self to not leave Bucky; that this, whatever messed up timeline this was, this wasn't their end of the line; that he loved him, and only him.

Steve regarded Bucky, his tentative eyes searched the face of a friend he never thought he'd see again, a face from his past and present and future, a face he could never forget, no matter how long it had been since they last seen each other, a face that belonged to a man that he wished he could have loved. His gaze softened, his heart thumped painfully in his chest. 

Steve nodded, small and slow but decisive and he gripped the compass tighter in his hand, deciding that it was time to let Bucky go, to let Bucky move on, deciding that it was truly, and finally, their end of the line. Steve's lip quirked up at the corner, tears welled in his eyes. "She was."


End file.
